When I was a boy I remember my Father saying that people often "major on the minor things". He was talking about church and all the constant squabbles that church folks have about "minor stuff". He was right and his assessment is still true. But the principle applies to more than just to church politics and disagreements - it is the way of the human mind and heart.
One of the things that has transformed my marriage is a focus on the big things. When I get peeved at some small irritation that comes with two people living in the same space I have lost my way - that little stuff is a waste of energy and time. There are "big things" that matter: being respectful at all times, demonstrating genuine love, solving serious conflicts with kindness and patience, practicing forgiveness.
Being able to take a step back and see how silly the minor things are is so essential in good relationships. Honestly I don't have the time or the energy or the interest to talk about so many of the things people yap about all day long. I think some people just love to fuss and fight. This is true in churches, in families, and at work - give me a break and give yourself a break.
Jesus was a big things kind of guy - "justice, mercy, and faithfulness" - these are the matters that carry more weight. (Matt. 23:23) The big stuff needs my attention - to do what is good and right, to be full of mercy, and to be reliable.
Just thinking, Steve