My life has been remarkably smooth. Sure there have been some rough spots - losses, mistakes, sins, heartaches - but compared to many others mine seem not so dramatic. I have no explanation for this. I am grateful for all the good days in my journey so far.
I talk with people regularly that are going through very tough times. I am thinking of just the past year - a woman who's husband died suddenly and she is alone now, a couple who lost a child, a man who saw his business crumble after 30 years, a teenager with a brain tumor - this is just a partial list. When we face these seemingly unfair events in our life it turns our world upside down.
I think of these folks when I read the story of Naomi in the little book of Ruth found in the Old Testament. Naomi loses her husband, then her two grown sons - she is a widow without her children in a foreign place - she says basically "I was full, but now God you made me empty."
She also says at a certain point in the story that she is bitter. She even tells people to stop calling her Naomi, which means "sweet one" and instead to call her Mara, which means "bitter."
When life comes crashing in on us it is hard to not become bitter. Phillip Yancey describes it this way: we ask God three questions - God, are you being unfair? God, are you silent? God, are you hidden? Yancey says these are the questions that Job asks of God - Naomi is a female Job. She is broken and bitter. It seems like life has crushed her.
I want to be very frank and honest. I am tired of seeing people suffer. It wears me out. Working with people in pain, is exhausting. I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be for them.
One thing I have noticed: people who somehow keep a heart and soul that is tender - not hardened - seem to recover from losses better. When we harden our heart we really stop living and just start existing.
In the case of Naomi, God sends a remarkable daughter-in-law named Ruth into her life, who blesses, loves and helps Naomi become "sweet one" again. The end of the story has a joyous ending - even with all the losses. Somehow Naomi did not allow her heart to become cold and calloused - God's grace came to the rescue!
The wisdom of Proverbs 4:23 makes the point:
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
Just thinking, Steve
Monday, February 21, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
The Love Day
February 14th - the "love day" - Valentine's Day! I know it must be Valentine's Day because I have had way too much chocolate the last few days. Good stuff, but I have to stop this now!
How does a day become the "romantic love day" of the yearly calendar? The pressure to buy just the right gift, say the right words, buy the right card, and show the proper excitement about it all is pretty intense. I guess we can thank the "marketing gurus" of our time who have somehow convinced us that this is "the" day for saying I love you and saying it with something expensive.
Honesty, I like the romance stuff - sweet words, hugs, kisses and all that comes with it - how could I not be in favor of something so wonderful! My sweetheart of 37 years and I had a great evening on the town last night - dinner, music, sitting close in an embrace - all good! We bought small gifts and shared sweet cards. All so good.
But why do we have to make everything about huge sums of money - every holiday has to rescue the bad economy! It is just a little over the top - way over the top!
Surely love - real love - is more than just the amount of money that we spend on a gift - isn't real love about commitment, genuine kindness, daily attentiveness, respect, support, listening, loyalty, and more. I think that deep down that is the kind of love we are really seeking.
I hope your "love day" has been good - but even more I hope that real love will power your relationships day by day, week by week, and year by year. Invest in living a life of love - now that is a gift that is invaluable!
Just thinking, (overloaded with chocolate)
Steve
How does a day become the "romantic love day" of the yearly calendar? The pressure to buy just the right gift, say the right words, buy the right card, and show the proper excitement about it all is pretty intense. I guess we can thank the "marketing gurus" of our time who have somehow convinced us that this is "the" day for saying I love you and saying it with something expensive.
Honesty, I like the romance stuff - sweet words, hugs, kisses and all that comes with it - how could I not be in favor of something so wonderful! My sweetheart of 37 years and I had a great evening on the town last night - dinner, music, sitting close in an embrace - all good! We bought small gifts and shared sweet cards. All so good.
But why do we have to make everything about huge sums of money - every holiday has to rescue the bad economy! It is just a little over the top - way over the top!
Surely love - real love - is more than just the amount of money that we spend on a gift - isn't real love about commitment, genuine kindness, daily attentiveness, respect, support, listening, loyalty, and more. I think that deep down that is the kind of love we are really seeking.
I hope your "love day" has been good - but even more I hope that real love will power your relationships day by day, week by week, and year by year. Invest in living a life of love - now that is a gift that is invaluable!
Just thinking, (overloaded with chocolate)
Steve
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
It Is So Cold...
The "It is so cold" jokes are numbering into the thousands now. It is cold - no joke. My Palm trees were frozen last year for the first time ever - this will make two years in a row. One fellow told me he had to dig up 15 Palm trees that he lost last year and then replaced them and guess what - they are gone again! Thankfully he had a one year guarantee so they will be replaced at no cost except for all the digging, dirt, and blisters to replace them.
One year when we were living in Tyler, Texas it snowed about 10 inches. I had never seen a snow like that in the south - it was wet, heavy snow that stay around for a couple of weeks. We built a Snowman that stood proudly in our front yard for 14 days - it was amazing!
When I watch the weather people, in their Gore-Tex garb, reporting in the middle of a Mid-Western blizzard, I have to laugh. What do you have to do to get a promotion on the Weather Channel? Your willingness to get frost bite or be hit by flying debris during a hurricane is basic.
Al Roker in 70 mile per hour frigid winds is a vivid picture of what the weather folks will do for higher ratings.
As my wife and I snuggle up by the fire tonight, we will thank our lucky stars that the low will only be in the low 20's - not 20 below!
Stay warm tonight!
Just thinking, Steve
One year when we were living in Tyler, Texas it snowed about 10 inches. I had never seen a snow like that in the south - it was wet, heavy snow that stay around for a couple of weeks. We built a Snowman that stood proudly in our front yard for 14 days - it was amazing!
When I watch the weather people, in their Gore-Tex garb, reporting in the middle of a Mid-Western blizzard, I have to laugh. What do you have to do to get a promotion on the Weather Channel? Your willingness to get frost bite or be hit by flying debris during a hurricane is basic.
Al Roker in 70 mile per hour frigid winds is a vivid picture of what the weather folks will do for higher ratings.
As my wife and I snuggle up by the fire tonight, we will thank our lucky stars that the low will only be in the low 20's - not 20 below!
Stay warm tonight!
Just thinking, Steve
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Partnering with Others
During this first month of the new year I have been exploring ideas for experiencing a great year. As we close out the month one additional thought has been bouncing around in my head. The people we choose to partner with in life have so much to do with our success and enjoyment in life.
One of the things that is so clear to me is how dramatically our lives are impacted by the people we spend time with in work, in family, and in our friendships. My Mom and Dad were right when they told me to choose my friends carefully. As a kid I often resisted their counsel, which almost always caused me some serious disappointment.
The people I work with are a rare combination of passion, practicality, and patience. They bless my life beyond what I deserve but I am so grateful. My partner for life, my wife of 37 years, is the most remarkable person I have ever known. Her insights about how life really works in this world have kept me from some great disasters. Her gentle and respectful way of talking to me about my life and our life together is an amazing gift. My friends are a mixture and odd brew - they are as different from me as any human beings could be but they challenge me with their ideas, their dreams, their deep convictions about what really matters.
When I talk with people often one of the first troubling topics is who they are partnering with in life. I remember a conversation when someone told me with great candor, "Everyone I work with is a crook. They lie and cheat as a way of life." I thought when they said that, what a miserable daily life.
I tell people who describe themselves as lonely to not trade loneliness for a coalition with persons who will bring you misery and pain. As difficult as it is to find good friendships and relationships, it is well worth all the time and effort.
One of my favorite stories is the love story of C.S. Lewis and Joy Davidman Gresham. Lewis was a successful and a much acclaimed writer, teacher, and lecturer, whose unique way of presenting the essence of the Christian faith made him world famous. Lewis was a lifelong bachelor and showed little indication of changing but then his friendship with Joy blossomed into a deep love and marriage. In many ways, C.S. and Joy were nothing alike but their partnership which was tragically cut short by her death, changed Lewis forever. His writing after her death was some of the most amazing and challenging of his life. He became a caring and compassionate Father to her children, which seemed very improbable for a very private man like Lewis. Lewis titled one of his books, Surprised by Joy, a book about his early life and his journey to the joy of Christian faith. Not long after it was published, another Joy came into his life - Joy Davidman Gresham, another remarkable "surprise" that would have a dramatic impact in his life.
This year focus on partnering with the people who will call you to the very best in your life. And have a great year!
Just thinking, Steve
One of the things that is so clear to me is how dramatically our lives are impacted by the people we spend time with in work, in family, and in our friendships. My Mom and Dad were right when they told me to choose my friends carefully. As a kid I often resisted their counsel, which almost always caused me some serious disappointment.
The people I work with are a rare combination of passion, practicality, and patience. They bless my life beyond what I deserve but I am so grateful. My partner for life, my wife of 37 years, is the most remarkable person I have ever known. Her insights about how life really works in this world have kept me from some great disasters. Her gentle and respectful way of talking to me about my life and our life together is an amazing gift. My friends are a mixture and odd brew - they are as different from me as any human beings could be but they challenge me with their ideas, their dreams, their deep convictions about what really matters.
When I talk with people often one of the first troubling topics is who they are partnering with in life. I remember a conversation when someone told me with great candor, "Everyone I work with is a crook. They lie and cheat as a way of life." I thought when they said that, what a miserable daily life.
I tell people who describe themselves as lonely to not trade loneliness for a coalition with persons who will bring you misery and pain. As difficult as it is to find good friendships and relationships, it is well worth all the time and effort.
One of my favorite stories is the love story of C.S. Lewis and Joy Davidman Gresham. Lewis was a successful and a much acclaimed writer, teacher, and lecturer, whose unique way of presenting the essence of the Christian faith made him world famous. Lewis was a lifelong bachelor and showed little indication of changing but then his friendship with Joy blossomed into a deep love and marriage. In many ways, C.S. and Joy were nothing alike but their partnership which was tragically cut short by her death, changed Lewis forever. His writing after her death was some of the most amazing and challenging of his life. He became a caring and compassionate Father to her children, which seemed very improbable for a very private man like Lewis. Lewis titled one of his books, Surprised by Joy, a book about his early life and his journey to the joy of Christian faith. Not long after it was published, another Joy came into his life - Joy Davidman Gresham, another remarkable "surprise" that would have a dramatic impact in his life.
This year focus on partnering with the people who will call you to the very best in your life. And have a great year!
Just thinking, Steve
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Something New
This month I am exploring some ideas on enjoying your best year ever.
One of the most invigorating choices you can make is to try something new. Life can quickly become stale and boring if you are unwilling to explore a new venture in your life.
Over the years I have found that attempting something new has a way of activating creative thinking and living like nothing else. The challenge of learning something brand new at any age is exciting. Years ago I was a regular runner but I had never run in a road race - so I gave it a try. A 5K first, then a 10K, later a Half-Marathon, which led to 26 Marathons and several Ultra-Marathons and Trail Runs from coast to coast. I had no idea that just trying something new would become something that brought me so much joy in my life.
Laura Hillenbrand, who wrote Seabiscuit, also wrote a remarkable account of the life of Louis Zamperini, a great Olympic runner and Italian immigrant to the USA, in her newest book Unbroken. The book is not for the faint of heart because it details some of the most horrid events of Zamperini's life when he was shot down during WWII in the Pacific and remained in the water for 47 days only to be captured and imprisoned and brutalized in a Japanese concentration camp. Amazingly he survived it all and is now 93 years old. The years after his terrible ordeal during the war were not easy - he was tormented with horrible dreams, heavy drinking and an obsession for revenge. His dramatic turn to God not only saved his soul but it saved his life as well. He became a gracious and forgiving man who opened a home for troubled boys.
One of the things that was so amazing about his story was Louis Zamperine's willingness to try something new - even in his later years. There is a picture in the book of him on a skateboard at 81 years old. He became an avid mountain climber and was willing to try something new with great passion year after year. Instead of being imprisoned by his desire to get revenge, his Christian faith empowered him to forgive and he met with some of those who had held him in prison, making peace with the past.
I challenge you - try something new - something positive, something that interests you and calls you to change and grow.
Enjoy the journey!
Just thinking, Steve
One of the most invigorating choices you can make is to try something new. Life can quickly become stale and boring if you are unwilling to explore a new venture in your life.
Over the years I have found that attempting something new has a way of activating creative thinking and living like nothing else. The challenge of learning something brand new at any age is exciting. Years ago I was a regular runner but I had never run in a road race - so I gave it a try. A 5K first, then a 10K, later a Half-Marathon, which led to 26 Marathons and several Ultra-Marathons and Trail Runs from coast to coast. I had no idea that just trying something new would become something that brought me so much joy in my life.
Laura Hillenbrand, who wrote Seabiscuit, also wrote a remarkable account of the life of Louis Zamperini, a great Olympic runner and Italian immigrant to the USA, in her newest book Unbroken. The book is not for the faint of heart because it details some of the most horrid events of Zamperini's life when he was shot down during WWII in the Pacific and remained in the water for 47 days only to be captured and imprisoned and brutalized in a Japanese concentration camp. Amazingly he survived it all and is now 93 years old. The years after his terrible ordeal during the war were not easy - he was tormented with horrible dreams, heavy drinking and an obsession for revenge. His dramatic turn to God not only saved his soul but it saved his life as well. He became a gracious and forgiving man who opened a home for troubled boys.
One of the things that was so amazing about his story was Louis Zamperine's willingness to try something new - even in his later years. There is a picture in the book of him on a skateboard at 81 years old. He became an avid mountain climber and was willing to try something new with great passion year after year. Instead of being imprisoned by his desire to get revenge, his Christian faith empowered him to forgive and he met with some of those who had held him in prison, making peace with the past.
I challenge you - try something new - something positive, something that interests you and calls you to change and grow.
Enjoy the journey!
Just thinking, Steve
Monday, January 10, 2011
Right Now Thinking
This month, as we begin a new year, I am exploring some ideas on how to experience your best year ever.
One idea that has truly had a personal and positive impact on my life is what I call "right now thinking". The concept is to see clearly and embrace what is happening in your life right now.
I spoke with someone who has cancer and is taking treatments right now. They said something so important: "This is not a dream - this is my reality at this time. The question is how do I live in this reality - how do a talk to people about it, how do I handle my fear, my anger, my grief - this is my life right now - I don't want to waste this time and not learn and grow and live."
Sometime ago, I talked with woman who had just told her adult daughter that she had to move out and live independent from her Mother. This is the first time in 25 years that she has not had a child living in the home. She is finally an empty nester. She asked, "What do I do now?" I told her it is time for some "right now thinking". It is not 1986 - the year the first child was born - it is 2011 - how do you live a meaningful and productive life now? What do you want to learn? How do you long to use your time and your talents?
One guy I know is counting down the days until his retirement - even though it is about 5 years away. All his conversations tend to be about when he retires he plans to do this or that. Right now thinking keeps us from falling into the trap of missing the life we are now living. There is nothing wrong with setting goals, making plans for the future, but remember the future is never a given - we have no idea what the reality will be in 5 years. Real life is best lived in day tight compartments - don't get stuck in the past and don't just fantasize about the future.
Right now thinking is not flying by the seat of our britches - no hopes, no dreams, no plans. It does remind us of the daily nature of real life - The Psalmist said it so beautifully, "This is the day that the Lord has made: let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24)
Psalm 90:12 says "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."
Just thinking, Steve
One idea that has truly had a personal and positive impact on my life is what I call "right now thinking". The concept is to see clearly and embrace what is happening in your life right now.
I spoke with someone who has cancer and is taking treatments right now. They said something so important: "This is not a dream - this is my reality at this time. The question is how do I live in this reality - how do a talk to people about it, how do I handle my fear, my anger, my grief - this is my life right now - I don't want to waste this time and not learn and grow and live."
Sometime ago, I talked with woman who had just told her adult daughter that she had to move out and live independent from her Mother. This is the first time in 25 years that she has not had a child living in the home. She is finally an empty nester. She asked, "What do I do now?" I told her it is time for some "right now thinking". It is not 1986 - the year the first child was born - it is 2011 - how do you live a meaningful and productive life now? What do you want to learn? How do you long to use your time and your talents?
One guy I know is counting down the days until his retirement - even though it is about 5 years away. All his conversations tend to be about when he retires he plans to do this or that. Right now thinking keeps us from falling into the trap of missing the life we are now living. There is nothing wrong with setting goals, making plans for the future, but remember the future is never a given - we have no idea what the reality will be in 5 years. Real life is best lived in day tight compartments - don't get stuck in the past and don't just fantasize about the future.
Right now thinking is not flying by the seat of our britches - no hopes, no dreams, no plans. It does remind us of the daily nature of real life - The Psalmist said it so beautifully, "This is the day that the Lord has made: let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24)
Psalm 90:12 says "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."
Just thinking, Steve
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Your Best Year
Happy New Year to all! During January I plan to offer some ideas to encourage you in the pursuit of your best year ever.
One thing that has helped me approach each new year with enthusiasm and new hope for personal growth and success will sound rather strange - the ability to forget.
I know that learning from our mistakes and using what we learn is critical for growing as a person - in fact, I have learned more from my mistakes than from my successes. So how can forgetting be helpful? I am referring to the emotional and cognitive ability to let go of the past and move forward.
If you want to have your best year ever you cannot carry the weight of past failures or the distraction of past successes into the new year. The ability to forget is the experience of letting go - there is nothing that frees us more.
Paul used this expression in Philippians 3: "forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what is ahead."
Dwayne told me that he and a college friend had not spoken in 25 years because his friend borrowed some money and never paid it back. When I asked him if he ever sought to resolve the conflict he said no. So I said, "you chose to ignore the conflict, lose a friend, and carry this baggage for 25 years." He looked at me as if I had just doused him with a cold bucket of water - it was time to forget and move on and he knew it. What conflict is worth 25 years of your life? Later that day, he called his college friend and planned a time to have lunch and talk.
So as you begin this new year with all the challenges that are before you, employ your "forgetter" - let go of the baggage that can slow you and discourage you as you embrace the opportunities of a new challenge, new hopes, and new dreams for your life.
Check in each week this month for additional ideas to help you experience your best year in 2011.
My sincere hope for you is that this year will be your best year, with the help of our gracious God!
Just thinking, Steve Yates
One thing that has helped me approach each new year with enthusiasm and new hope for personal growth and success will sound rather strange - the ability to forget.
I know that learning from our mistakes and using what we learn is critical for growing as a person - in fact, I have learned more from my mistakes than from my successes. So how can forgetting be helpful? I am referring to the emotional and cognitive ability to let go of the past and move forward.
If you want to have your best year ever you cannot carry the weight of past failures or the distraction of past successes into the new year. The ability to forget is the experience of letting go - there is nothing that frees us more.
Paul used this expression in Philippians 3: "forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what is ahead."
Dwayne told me that he and a college friend had not spoken in 25 years because his friend borrowed some money and never paid it back. When I asked him if he ever sought to resolve the conflict he said no. So I said, "you chose to ignore the conflict, lose a friend, and carry this baggage for 25 years." He looked at me as if I had just doused him with a cold bucket of water - it was time to forget and move on and he knew it. What conflict is worth 25 years of your life? Later that day, he called his college friend and planned a time to have lunch and talk.
So as you begin this new year with all the challenges that are before you, employ your "forgetter" - let go of the baggage that can slow you and discourage you as you embrace the opportunities of a new challenge, new hopes, and new dreams for your life.
Check in each week this month for additional ideas to help you experience your best year in 2011.
My sincere hope for you is that this year will be your best year, with the help of our gracious God!
Just thinking, Steve Yates
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